Monday, July 27, 2020

Dating and Religion

This is something that I have been dealing with lately. I have been told that your dating relationship should glorify God and there are some boundaries that God gives his people.
  Spiritual  Relationship Principle  
  • Be considerate of one another. Do not be a stumbling block 1 corinthians 10:32-33
  • Go on dates with doubles; home before midnight; Dress appropriately
  • Be absolutely pure -Ephesians 5:3/ 1 Timothy 5:2 
  • Get Advice- Proverbs 19:2/19:20   
  Here is something that I want you to think about this as you are reading this most person with a disability get help from the government so along with that comes some guidelines that we have to adhere to when working in order to keep out finical and health befits giving to us by the government. Now I know most of you know but if you don't I am a woman who is physically disabled. I have been disabled my whole life. I have always believed and still do believe in God. I am currently in a dating relationship with a man who is also physically disabled. Now you all are wondering why am mentioning this?  Before I have people commenting and saying that there is no exception to what parts of God's instructions I as his daughter shouldn't follow. I want you all to keep in mind that no two walks with God would look the same. Now for those of you who don't have anyone in your life with a physical disability life can be more challenging. I have been blessed in the sense that I am mentally able to learn and think for myself and the same for my boyfriend.  Now to give you a bit a background Me and my boyfriend meet in college, we dated one year and then took a break for a year because he wanted to grow spiritually which happen in 2017 Then a year later he decides to ask me to be his girlfriend again in 2018. We have now been disciples for three years and we have been dating while being followers of Jesus for two years. I have the desire to someday be married.    
What  I struggle with when it comes to my faith and my dating relationship is that I have been told by other believers is that before my dating relationship moves to the next stages is that there needs to be finical stability which I understand why is said but I also wish the actual reality of what my life is like is taking into account. It is a challenge to get employed but, that doesn't mean that I stop looking for a job. I have been told that I am not able to drive so that means that I would have to use public transportation to get around. I wonder how is that someone who has a physical disability gets finical stable. when we are looked we are atomically judged just on our physical appearance and not given a chance to showcase our skills?

Elizabeth Rodriguez 

    I three years as a disciple, for some people it may seem that is a long time but I still feel quite new at this lifestyle. I choose it because God has been there for me ever since I can remember, at times I feel that he extended my lifespan cause at the time I feel that I'm not supposed to be here in this world anymore, however, managing my relationship with God and with my girlfriend its been challenging due to the fact that we both have an idea on how to do our walk with God a different way. For a while now we have been struggling to be in an agreement with that. I know that she wants to marry me but I just feel that due to our position in the workforce it would be challenging. I know some women don't care about the financial things but its all said and done when one day we are both sitting in the table and there's no food on it or a roof over us. It is scary to be responsible for another person's well being when one is struggling to take care of oneself. I know that I may be contradicting my self a bit cause God suppose to take care of me and Liz, I'm supposed to trust in God, but the feeling is still there. I sure have things to think about and stuff to consider but I just pray that God will help me make the best decision for me.

 Pedro Escalera
 

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Concern

It has been a roller coaster in my dating relationship. I try my best to be supportive and loving. I sometimes wonder what did I do wrong? I just want to see my partner happy. It is hard for me to sit back and notice the pain and not do anything about it.

  As it is some people can be harsh I would just wish that the working world would be open to giving those of us who have disabilities a chance at making a better life for ourselves. I am fully aware that everyone is different but for myself and my boyfriend we did not go to the university just for fun, For those of you who read this are probably are thinking what have they done to gain their independence we have asked for help of a job placement agency.  We are putting in applications on a daily bases.
It becomes discouraging when we have applied and we aren't getting any callbacks. 

This is becoming a real struggle for us. I think it is having a negative effect on his self-esteem because I have noticed changes in him that worry me. I have thought about us maybe starting our own business but I would hope that he would be open to that idea.

Insecurity in the workforce with disability

"And may the odds be ever in your favor.” the famous line from the movie trilogy the hunger games ones I saw it written on the back of a computer of a counselor on a community college that I used to attend back on twenty fourteen. At that time I didn't think of it, I even praised the counselor for it. now two years have passed since I finished my degree in school and with a bachelors in Communications and a minor in Art I am still lacking of a job. Now I understand that as a person with a disability I was a fool to think that the odds in in the work force were in my favor. How could I someone that been put down and struggled to get respected even by his own family think that would be respected by strangers and in an environment that even someone with no disability has trouble getting. 

After a year of looking I found another job, perhaps not the job that I imagine but its something, perhaps its almost the same job that I had just with a different company and with a different set of districts. As individual with disabilities in the work force there's always an insecurity with am I getting treated equally, am I doing the job like any other employee. Working as a substitute long weeks with middle school students elevates one's anxiety level trough the roof. When a student push back and refuses to simple direction, like read your book, that moment can really put a dent on one's self-esteem. Lucky bumping into another substitute in the launch room and exchanging work experiences helps. It help me see that I was having the same issues with students as a regular employee with out a disability.

         

Sunday, August 4, 2019

Elizabeth's view

Dating someone else who is disabled is a breath of fresh air for me. I don't have to hide my struggles with them. This new guy who is dating is amazing to start off him and I do go to church together which for me is something that I can admire because not only can I developed a physical dating relationship but we can also grow together spiritually. He most of the time keeps a smile on my face. We often get stared at just because of our physical appearance. It does drive me crazy most of the time but at the end of the day, he makes me happy. I love being around him. He is a lot more reserved then I am. I firmly believe that God brought us together for a reason. when he told me about his past I cried. Every time we are together I just want to be there for him as much as he allows me to be. I do see a future with him despite what everyone thinks.

As everyone knows dating is difficult, now trying to see for a person was a disability. I can say that one of the biggest fears of mine is someone going to want to be with me because they feel bad for me. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Dating Into Handicap

I drive anywhere feeling like a teenager that just got his first car, but of course I am 25 years old. Why did it took me so long to get a vehicle? Well as a handicap individual, you usually spend a couple of year convincing your family that is safe that you have the same risks as anyone to get in a car wreck.
 When you are a handicap person and  you own a minivan (Town & Country Chrysler 2014) you tend to feel free. I drive anywhere I want, well anywhere my budget allows me anyhow.  But on pay day I’m always going to the bar to play some pool and drink a beer with some friends. I drive to school and work I became a “awesome person, some one that amazes people/promoter” People always see me and say that what I do is awesome or ask me about the van and tell me where did I get it cause they need one for their grandpa or old father. Sometimes when I go out with my girl, which she is also handicap, we tend to get free food sometimes. Like the chef from the school gave us free sushi and a couple of rolls. As far as school I drive myself there. On the weekends I even make hobbies outside of the house. Alejandro, one of my best friends, and I have been talking to each other about doing an art show in a gallery in Brownsville. I manage to get an exhibition for our paintings in a cultural center close to my old university at Brownsville. It was fun driving over there and setting up the gallery and driving around promoting the art show. I guess now I see why my parents use to call the minivan a luxury thing that I don’t need. But now I think they see that it was a need because now they are able to accomplish more tasks without having to worry about driving me to other places.
           The only main issue here in the valley is the parking spaces. People don’t respect the some handicap spaces are mainly for vans. It is a drag to go to Wal-Mart and see that someone with a car that could have parked in a regular handicap space is parked at a space designated mostly for vans. A couple of times I am force to park at a regular handicap space and someone blocked the side where the ramp for my wheelchair comes out. It would be handy if someone design a ramp that can come out either side of the van. That would be the best solution for it. Another possible solution, is to divide the handicap permits in to different digress. For Example, where people can park on the regular handicap parking space other where only van or mini vans can park.

5/22/2015
   
       Yesterday I went out with my girlfriend, Elizabeth, to eat. I went early to her work place at the Student Union of now called UTRGV (University of Texas at Rio Grande Valley) I waited for her for a couple of hours but I didn't mind because my BFF the laptop was with me. I played Starcraft 2 the hole morning it was a blast. 
          Anyways, I do not know if I have mention Elizabeth before but she is a sweet girl although ever time I tell her that I love her, she rarely says it back. Elizabeth has a condition called Cerebral Palsyhttp://cerebralpalsy.org/about-cerebral-palsy/definition/says that it is a condition that affect the movements of the body and body coordination. This can occur while a child is being developed or with an injury. Although this sounds serious is can be treated manageable, so the person with the condition can be more independent luckily for my girlfriend this is the case she has a little machine implanted that is always giving her medicine, because of that she rarely get spasms and they cant be notice. Although the medicine helps he a lot she still has to use a wheelchair because of her feet. 
        I been bugging Elizabeth to let me teach her how to drive. I think driving will open a lot of doors for her just how it happen to me, I want her too feel what I feel when I am behind the wheel. No, I'm not referring to the irritation of people driving like crazy on the highway. I'm referring to the taste of freedom from public transportation and rides that a person with disabilities depend on 100%. After she got out of work I notice that there was an empty parking space since we did not had anything to do so, I told her to get behind the wheel. It took us a while to try and figure how to sit her in the right position to reach the steering wheel. Although she did several mistakes like getting on the sidewalk, she did fine. I think a couple of more tries and she will be a pro.   
So far, the van has been very useful I go to school, dates, work like any other person, it is like I have been set free into the world of independence. I love my van I treated like a part of me now i depend on it a lot and I know it would be there as long as i give it maintenance. 
7/16/2018
I put up my relationship with Liz this past year to work on my relationship with God, A year ago I bump in to and old friend and he invited me to a bible study after that its been a long journey after that. Thank God Liz decided to work on her relationship with God as well and now almost a year me and Liz are back together.
Now ever time I tell her that I love here she always says that she loves me more. It is almost going to be a year for my spiritual birthday, although I feel that I still have much to learn.