It has been a roller coaster in my dating relationship. I try my best to be supportive and loving. I sometimes wonder what did I do wrong? I just want to see my partner happy. It is hard for me to sit back and notice the pain and not do anything about it.
As it is some people can be harsh I would just wish that the working world would be open to giving those of us who have disabilities a chance at making a better life for ourselves. I am fully aware that everyone is different but for myself and my boyfriend we did not go to the university just for fun, For those of you who read this are probably are thinking what have they done to gain their independence we have asked for help of a job placement agency. We are putting in applications on a daily bases.
It becomes discouraging when we have applied and we aren't getting any callbacks.
This is becoming a real struggle for us. I think it is having a negative effect on his self-esteem because I have noticed changes in him that worry me. I have thought about us maybe starting our own business but I would hope that he would be open to that idea.
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
"And may the odds be ever in your favor.” the famous line from the movie trilogy the hunger games ones I saw it written on the back of a computer of a counselor on a community college that I used to attend back on twenty fourteen. At that time I didn't think of it, I even praised the counselor for it. now two years have passed since I finished my degree in school and with a bachelors in Communications and a minor in Art I am still lacking of a job. Now I understand that as a person with a disability I was a fool to think that the odds in in the work force were in my favor. How could I someone that been put down and struggled to get respected even by his own family think that would be respected by strangers and in an environment that even someone with no disability has trouble getting.
After a year of looking I found another job, perhaps not the job that I imagine but its something, perhaps its almost the same job that I had just with a different company and with a different set of districts. As individual with disabilities in the work force there's always an insecurity with am I getting treated equally, am I doing the job like any other employee. Working as a substitute long weeks with middle school students elevates one's anxiety level trough the roof. When a student push back and refuses to simple direction, like read your book, that moment can really put a dent on one's self-esteem. Lucky bumping into another substitute in the launch room and exchanging work experiences helps. It help me see that I was having the same issues with students as a regular employee with out a disability.
Sunday, August 4, 2019
Dating someone else who is disabled is a breath of fresh air for me. I don't have to hide my struggles with them. This new guy who is dating is amazing to start off him and I do go to church together which for me is something that I can admire because not only can I developed a physical dating relationship but we can also grow together spiritually. He most of the time keeps a smile on my face. We often get stared at just because of our physical appearance. It does drive me crazy most of the time but at the end of the day, he makes me happy. I love being around him. He is a lot more reserved then I am. I firmly believe that God brought us together for a reason. when he told me about his past I cried. Every time we are together I just want to be there for him as much as he allows me to be. I do see a future with him despite what everyone thinks.
As everyone knows dating is difficult, now trying to see for a person was a disability. I can say that one of the biggest fears of mine is someone going to want to be with me because they feel bad for me.